Well it was diabolical, wasn’t it?

You start watching something and it’s merely depressing. Then, by the end, black waves of old gittishness are enveloping your soul as you despair of the insult to humanity that decided to spend thousands and thousands of pounds on creating a small piece of shit, that was only ever going to be a small piece of shit.

I don’t mind great risky ventures that fail. And I don’t particularly mind being taken for a cretin. It’s just... it’s just... somebody – SOMEBODY at the BBC MUST HAVE KNOWN that the concept, script, execution and delivery of ‘Match of the Day at 40’ was going to be a fiasco.

I believe in the BBC, but she’s a terrible flirt. In fact she’s that smug, annoying girl at school who knows that she’s adored so much that she can get away with the most appalling behaviour because you’ll keep running back to her.

The BBC has self-congratulatory Tourette’s. It’s shit-scared of losing the license fee – understandably – so it feels it has to big itself up all the time. Forget its self-flagellation over Hutton – it’s a drop in the ocean compared with the tens of thousands of pounds it might blithely spend on exciting ‘idents’ for the Olympic Games – which everybody who’s interested is going to watch anyway.

And ‘Match of the Day at 40’?!? ONE HOUR of ‘we’re so clever, we decided to put football on the telly and isn’t the BBC wonderful for doing so’?!?

As self-analysis goes it was as hard-hitting as QVC.

So we had Arsene Wenger bringing a football perspective to the programme’s impact. Oh – no – hang on. He was just saying that football on the telly was interesting, and that Match of the Day was what it was called on the Beeb. Strangely enough, he didn’t have much to say about the development of the actual show because HE WASN’T IN THE COUNTRY AT THE TIME, YOU CRETINS.

Oooh – better get someone trendy who’s in with the kids to lend some street cred! Who likes football? Er – oh yes, Noel Gallagher. How very 2004. Ronnie Corbett not available, I guess. Yes, we do know how the theme song goes. Thanks.

As luvvie as a box of theatre programmes, this was one corporate wank too many.

Sorry Gary, sorry Alan. I believe in the BBC, but you can laugh at me one too many times.

Normal Norfolk-related news will resume tomorrow.