It’s one of the milestone ones today.

The one after which I can no longer truthfully claim to be in my ‘early thirties’.

Mid-thirties it is, then. Turning into an old git was quicker than I thought. Bummer! There goes my carefully worked-out blog concept.

I appear to be taking this quite well, after the drama-queen five-year period that led up to my thirtieth. I’ve had no periods of black depression about it, no waking up in cold sweats. My eyes seem OK in the mirror, no wildness or staringness or anything.

But these things can creep up on you. Perhaps later on I will chop the LTLP into pieces with a big axe.

Fortunately I won’t be celebrating on my own. The Cheerful Builder will be here for one. And Mick the Sparks.

(Note – one of the advantages of a blog is that you can use a phrase like ‘Sparks’ with the utmost offhand nonchalance. As opposed to verbal communication, where it sounds embarrassingly forced when used by someone who has clearly never been on a building site in his life).

Even my in-laws are driving up for the weekend. This promises to be the best birthday ever.

On Tuesday I will post about my surprise party.

I did start an Amazon wishlist but I kind of think that’s the equivalent of hanging around in bars poncing drinks off strangers. You need to be better-looking to get away with it. Or look like an easy lay. And I am neither. Tsk! At my age! Well I can tell you, if you think you can buy me presents in exchange for sex then you have come to the WRONG BLOG and I will not change my mind about this even if you all send me pictures of yourself naked (email address is on the right, females only please, I will be in town Thursday and Friday if that's convenient for you).

So, in the words of the great Boothby Graffoe:
“If I can’t have you
And a million pounds
And a house in Rome
And lots of cars
I don’t want anything at all.”

I’ll think I’ll do a bit of raging against the dying of the light, then get myself some breakfast.