“Psssstitssasselebrity!!!” I hiss.

“What…?!?”

“Ssslebrity!!! Over there!!!” I whisper furiously.

“What celebrity?!?” replies the LTLP in a loud voice.

I make ‘keep your voice down’ gestures. Being quite at home in the world of celebrities, I am quite blasé by the famous people thing, whereas the LTLP, being a civilian, does not really know how to behave. I do not want her to embarrass herself. It would be like her, in her capacity as a renowned scientist, introducing me to one of her molecules or whatever. I would try not to be overly gushing.

TV’s Richard Park steps out of his car and gazes around the car park, no doubt looking for somebody to criticise.

I jerk my head everso gently towards TV’s Richard Park, but not so much as I look like an idiot who is impressed by meeting celebrities. Nobody approaches him, so he strides out towards the shops presumably in hope of some really bad customer service.

We do not follow him. He is just a person like you or I. I would not even bother writing about him if I did not know that you would be interested.

We wander off to buy chips. He is not in the chip shop. I expect he brought his own packed lunch. They do that sort of thing, you know.