Short Tony has sacked his milkman!!!

The LTLP and I sit there, aghast at this development. It seems wrong that the Short Tonies act like this and do not support local businesses. Plus they used to over-order a lot and we got lots of free surplus milk from the arrangement.

"What did you say to him?" I ask.

"Well it's a bit difficult," replied Short Tony. "You have to fill in a card to tell him why you don't want to use him any more. And there wasn't a tick box for 'a bit creepy'."

"Plus he'd been coming for several months," added Mrs Short Tony. "And he still hadn't worked out where the front door was."

We agreed that this was a Key Skill for any milkman. But I sympathised. As the airport people will tell you, it is never nice having to make people redundant.

To be honest however, it would have been a more difficult decision had he been a sole local trader, jovially bringing milk from his nearby farm, fresh out of the udder. But he was actually just a small cog in the wheel of Dairy Crest, an Evil Corporation, who are sort of the Haliburton of cows.

"We should have plenty of spare milk in the new year," I offered. There was a pregnant silence.

"Drink up your beer," orders the LTLP.