Here's the announcement of the new Pope, as the newspapers reported it yesterday:

The Mirror:
OUR FATHER WHO ACHTUNG IN HEAVEN

The Express:
OUT OF CONTROL -
Whilst a million British Catholics are turned down for the job, this man slipped from country to country and now lives in luxury at their expense.

Daily Mail:
POPE HOUSE PRICE SHOCK

The Guardian:
TORY TURMOIL AS NEW POPE ELECTED
Inside: Paul Carr on how Bloggers influenced the cardinals.

The Sun:
WITH JOYOUS LOVE FROM OUR HOLY FATHER
Inside! Send them home; look at that ugly slapper; burn them, etc.

News of the World:
NoW MAN INFILTRATES PAPAL CONCLAVE -
Red-robed reporter in shock security expose

Metro:
POPE JOHN PAUL 'IS DYING'

PR Week
VATICAN COMMUNICATION STRATEGY LACKS INTEGRATION -
Man in wanky glasses slams chimney system

Richmond and Twickenham Times
RESIDENT ANGER AT POPE CHOICE -
'Council did not consult us' claim residents of posh street.

Lynn News (King's Lynn):
NEW POPE'S WEST NORFOLK CONNECTION -
North Lynn couple once holidayed in Austria, which is quite near Germany, where he came from