The cess pit emptying man has just left.

I have great respect for the cess pit emptying man. In our frightfully civilised and advanced Western civilization, the role of cess pit emptying man ranks right near the end of any list they may give you at the careers advice centre. However, he is always cheerful, jokey and smiling, which I guess you have to be if you spend your day playing around in other peoples' ordure. He empties the cess pit, using his big pipe. I give him a cheque, but can't find my guarantee card.

"Don't worry," he says. "I can always bring this back."

The LTLP's hair is completely back to normal. Our emergency dyeing was a tremendous success.

And I have been listening to 'Punchbag' by The Bees. It really is rather good. Perhaps they have a really really good marketing person in cahoots with Amazon.